Confessions of an over-thinker

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I’ve been an overthinker for as long as I can remember. It is a habit of mine that drives me up the wall and everytime I think I’m over it, it bites me in the backside.

The thing about being sensitive is that I’m very much aware of other people’s feelings. So I think before speaking and I’m tactful - I don’t interrupt when someone is sharing a story, or make it entirely about me and what I think.

So I’m often left stunned when someone bulldozes me hard with their blunt negativity and unasked for opinions.

Last week after getting back from an amazing holiday, soaking up time in my favourite destination, switching off and immersing myself in nature, I made the mistake of telling someone (who I’ve known for nearly 20 years) where I’d been. Well, there is nothing quite like someone making a face as if she is sucking on a lemon then running down a place she’s never visited.

This person does this to almost every holiday I go on.

The Overberg which we visit regularly gets a horrified head shake as hubby and I prefer self catering accommodation to hotels. For years we used to go up every Christmas and I’d get a look of horror and dramatic “Oh no” blurted out if I mentioned our festive plans. We’d stay in a spacious apartment where we could make our Christmas lunch, sit on the balcony and relax. Last I looked you cannot make a full Christmas lunch in a hotel or braai on their balcony. I enjoy staying in hotels and guest houses but I also enjoy self catering accommodation - I don’t know what is so offensive about this to warrant the reaction. To add to the irony this person doesn’t stay in hotels when travelling so I’m not where this obsession stems from.

I should have said something but as an over-thinker I only think of what to say after the event. Eventually she flounced off to find drama elsewhere, having drained me sufficiently of any post-holiday joy.

And that is what gets to me. Negative people don’t give a damn about their negative throwaway comments. Once they’ve delivered their joy-depleting gloomy criticism, they don’t give it another thought. But as an over-thinker I find it difficult to ignore because I’d never be so sour when someone describes a place they love.

It irritates me that I let negative comments live rent free in my head. I’m 42 and should know better.

Do you find it easy to dismiss negative comments or do you tend to overthink?

Let me know if you have any tips!

xx